Monday, September 3, 2012

Too Much Time Passed

     Well,well, well... Look who decided to come by and make a post! It's been a year, and oh so much has happened. There's been a new house purchased(!!!), a major health scare in my family that thankfully is much better, and oh yes, a large amount of weight gain on my part. The last part has certainly been hard and sad for me. After all the weight I lost ( almost 60 pounds) I back-slid pretty bad and gained a big chunk of it back.  I could give you plenty of excuses but I'm not. Let's just say that I allowed other things and situations to take precedence over me and that is never good my friends.

     So on with the return. A return to self, a return to eating waaaay better (put down that Doritos loco taco for crying out loud), a return to cutting the crap and just doing. I started last week and am focusing mainly on getting the eating stuff down...tracking everything that goes in my proverbial  taco hole and taking vitamins, etc. I'm getting a little exercise in there too. The same girls I'm friends with that were running ( we still do on occasion) go to a boot camp type of thing which is really more like circuit training and I've been going to that once a week and wow, am I out of shape! All that hard work down the tubes, it makes me want to cry, which I have. A lot. BUT this is not where the story ends nor begins. It's the middle again. After a solid week under my belt, I'm happy to say that I'm 3.5 pounds lighter and I already feel better. My mood is improved, my skin is loving all the extra water and less of the nacho cheese powder/ toxic stuff I was eating on a pretty regular basis. I'm enjoying carving out time to cook good meals for myself to take to work. These are happy things, things to embrace. I have been tempted over the past week to try a little chocolate here a little extra something there but I haven't really felt the need to indulge. I'm proud of myself for jumping back on that horse even though it's hard and its back is buckling from my extra baggage but I'm here. Every day that passes where I'm keeping myself accountable is a day where my body is re-learning how to just do life again.

     It's going to be a long journey and when I peer down the winding road it seems never-ending and a tad scary. However, I feel very resolved for some reason. Even more so then when I first created this blog. Perhaps it's maturity or just a quiet sense of knowing that this time is different for some reason.   So here I sit: a crooked smile across my lips, my arms wrapped lovingly around my very capable body, and the peace of knowing that the will to do this properly has been within me all along...I simply needed to lift my chin a tad more defiantly towards that overgrown road and start heading back to myself.

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